The mental me... It is hard to describe the feeling I have now.
When I was 315, I never saw myself that big unless I was trying on clothes or looking through pictures. I felt inside almost like I do now. As if I haven't lost that 18yr old self. I kinda feel like that's where I "live" physically. I remember that mental view of me so well.
Now at 158, sz 12, I feel like this is who I was all along and haven't seen in a while. I was 135, when I graduated high school, so I feel like I'm getting back to the "old" me. The hardest is the reactions others have toward me after they haven't seen me in a while. And another hard feeling is seeing someone react to how I looked at 315.
I'm comfortable at 158 now, and do want to reach the 155 goal the doc set for me. There are so many many benefits from having lost all this weight (although when I was incredibly sick I never thought I'd be able to admit to it).
I can climb multiple flights of stairs without losing my breathe or feeling like I'm going to pass out.
I can shop at Anthropologie, Banana Republic and in the Misses Dept of Macy's & Nordstrom's and things fit! Those are my fav stores :)
I have more energy.
I feel more brave, like climbing on trees, and skimping over rocks and cliffs, almost the dare devil I once was.
I don't mind pictures of me.
The part about taking longer to adjust... My perception is still a bit unbalanced, but I'm getting there. I am truly thankful for all the wonderful support you all have given me along this journey. It's not quite over yet, but we are almost there :)
11 comments:
I LOVe readin about this. I am trying to lose weight myself, and though I'm not going the same route, I can certainly identify with some of those same feelings and perceptions. :) Thanks so much for sharing!
I truly love it for you!!!!!! What an inspiration you are too so many!!
Ah, my sweet friend, this is so sweet of you to post this for us all, I figured you might just email it privately. But this... this says VOLUMES about you and your growth in this area. It's tremendous! Pat yourself on the back and be proud of yourself because you have come a long way and the journey hasn't been a pleasant one I'm sure. You inspire others! Thanks so much for sharing!
I lurve the picture by the way! Beautiful dress for a beautiful lady.
Thanks! :)
I am so happy for you! You look great and I am glad you have more energy.
have a good weekend!
tina :)
http://mommycomplex.blogspot.com/2009/09/post-that-almost-wasnt.html
I finally got around to posting the tag from July LOL. Thanks for the award. :)
tina
A mere 3 pounds away from your goal! You are almost there! Congrats!
HOLY AMAZING LOOKING!! You have just inspired me for the week. Less Ruffles, more running and outside.
just lovely and inspiring , what an incredible person you are thanks for sharing...this photo is so lovely you look straight outta the 1930's esp with that big boat and those pretty curls and pearls! I love it
OMG You are amazing and inspiring! Hope you come visit the shop when you are in seattle!
It is good to have more energy and to feel better about yourself. You have done a remarkable thing. Congratulations.
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